The Narcissistic Parent and Ownership - Role Play - 3 Ways

Many childhood trauma survivors reach a stuck place in their work where they start to wonder whether their family can actually understand what happened. In this video, Patrick Teahan, LICSW uses a three-part role play between a daughter and her narcissistic mother to illustrate what usually happens when a survivor tries to get a toxic parent to take ownership — and what safer alternatives look like.

Patrick plays both roles across three versions of the same conversation. In the first, the daughter tries to disclose her therapy and her childhood experience to a narcissistic mother who deflects, centers her own feelings, and weaponizes the conversation. In the second, a healthy mother models what real accountability and attunement sound like. In the third, a more empowered daughter holds her ground with a narcissistic parent — though Patrick cautions that taking a toxic parent head-on is not something he generally recommends to clients.

Between the versions, Patrick reflects on why the urge to be understood by a toxic parent is such a common and painful stuck place, and why the work is less about getting the parent to come clean and more about the survivor letting go of being misunderstood. The video is designed as a perspective-giving tool for people trying to figure out whether a parent is safe to open up to at all.