What Does It Mean to Be Triggered? 2025

Understanding what it means to be triggered from a childhood trauma perspective.

By Patrick Teahan

so while there are many definitions of the word out there this video is going to focus on the question what does it mean to be triggered and we're going to be looking at triggers from the perspective of childhood trauma and abuse as well as the dysfunctional family we're also going to be looking at from the perspective of our past versus our present in a quick definition of a trigger is a trigger is a reaction in the present that can be directly related to a past experience in this case childhood think of it like an over-the-top reaction to something in the present so when we grow up in the dysfunctional family and abuse our triggers are our body's memories of that childhood stress and as we grow up into young adulthood that stress gets imprinted during our emotional development and we carry that into adulthood that's hard but there's some good news if we work on our triggers we can be happier we can be more empowered we can be balanced and focused and most importantly we can spend less time being upset trauma survivors lose a lot of time to their triggers if that sounds worthwhile here's the how-to number one know what your triggers are spend some time journaling perhaps creating a top 10 list of things that really upset you perhaps feelings of being left out and figure out what the triggers are number two is know where they come from in childhood this may take some exploring and therapy there's great literature resources on childhood stuff that are really helpful in figuring out as a side note many trauma survivors do not have memories of their childhoods but your triggers are your body's memories and there's clues there so that's helpful number three is to practice the separation between your past versus your present and that's an active thinking about how is the present different from the past it tends to work very well if we feel the charge from the childhood upset when we feel the childhood upset it puts the present totally into perspective let's take a hypothetical this is Kate Kate is a trauma survivor Kate works in an office building and she gets an email from her boss Jill that reads where is your project on the share Drive I don't see it and Jill signs it with the dreaded and impersonal please advise so let's say that Kate is pretty triggered by this let's see how what her reaction is well at first she anxiously checks to share drive four times despite knowing where she put it and despite knowing it was completed Kate then sends Jill and overly apologetic and over-explained email about where her project is Kate then spends the rest of the day checking for a return email from Jill but doesn't get one and then she goes home obsessing about the email and can't sleep she wakes up upset the following day and you may be asking is that what it means to be triggered yes that's what I'm saying about this triggering business here are some signs that will help you see when you're triggered the first is having a big body reaction this is a charge of anger shame disappointment sadness or heat next is dissociation that's feeling out of your body a little bit Spacey not grounded shut down perhaps stunned next is changes in language where we're at a loss for words or we become overly intellectualized maybe we're swearing our tone changes maybe we become passive aggressive next is for getting good attributes we forget good attributes of self of others this is usually negative next is similar to that one which is all or nothing thinking this is black and white thinking this is using statements such as always or never in the belief that there is only one negative outcome next is use of a favorite coping strategy things like substance abuse internet sex food these are compulsive and excessive behaviors next is righteousness overly focused on being right making moral judgments and the last is use of metaphor that's where we creatively explain things and say you're a train wreck or I'm a train wreck so let's unpack Cates trigger let's see how all that those signs played out the first as Kate had a big body reaction she became afraid she became anxious she had some shame going on and that was a big way in her body next she mildly dissociated she doubted herself she was not focused and she got into some tunnel vision about the email Kate then got into some forgetting of good attributes she forgot she's a good person she forgot her project was completed and well done she also had some changes in her language remember how she became overly apologetic to Jill saying I'm sorry is a default for Kate which is a function of shame and she over the explains things she got into some all-or-nothing thinking where she might have said this is all my fault I always screw up I should have known better and lastly is she had a use of a negative coping strategy that was the compulsive checking she was seeking an external queue for self-worth from Jill

let's look at Kate's trigger from a deeper perspective of past and present here is her past and here was her present in Kate's past in her childhood she had a critical blaming and shaming mother very reactive mother she had an unprotected father who didn't protect her from mom both of Kate's parents use mood as a weapon doing things like silent treatments Kate became hyper vigilant about making mistakes which is something that kept her safe and like many trauma survivors she chased conditional love but in her present regarding the Jill's email thing is there are examples of just normal life challenges examples of manageable difficulties like the Jill email is a pain in the ass at best if that kate was not in danger and there are normal social and relationship quirks but the overlap between these two things is that Kate reacts in the present just as she did and childhood that's her stuck place and what that means is that she has the same core beliefs she still believes that she's bad she still have the same attachment issues where she gets into codependency and compliance her behaviors are the same where she has those childhood survival strategies of perfection and what all that means is that Kate spends a lot of her emotional energy avoiding being shamed at all cost that's the charge from childhood that runs her present and this is why it's important the practice of separating between the past and the present to get clear here's another way to look at it here's a bar graph and let's just say the bar graph represents the Jill situation Kate places all the upset 100% of it on the emotional charge of Jill's email Kate thinks it's all about the present she might be feeling that jill is furious and that she's bad but actually most of the charge is from Kate's childhood and it belongs there same bar graph Jill situation 80% of it is actually the emotional charge from childhood abuse and the rest is 20% of just manageable stuff if Kate was in therapy she might basically come to the conclusion that this trigger is about my mother freaking out on me all the time it's not about Jill she's just my boss and she can get annoying that's the practice of separating between the past and the present which makes our present so much more clear and enjoyable so that 20% that represents what we called the present peace and for Kate what that means is as a boss jill is actually somebody who is slightly disorganized in rushes but kate doesn't tend to see that she is nice but she can get cranky aunt kate also tends to not see that most importantly maybe Jill gets triggered too we tend to think it's only us what all of the present peace means is that it's more manageable non-threatening and annoying quirks but in a big but here for Kate often being triggered is not a choice so let's not get hard on ourselves when we do get triggered but do commit to the fact that we can reclaim the present so understanding our triggers is a tricky business here are some reflective tips that you can ask when you notice that you're triggered one is does this present situation remind me of something from growing up another is does the person I'm triggered by name this case Jill remind me of mom dad my siblings or caretakers we can also ask what do I do when I'm upset and why do I do it does it have a history or emotional function for Kate the compulsive checking for a return email is that's not new for her that's something she did in childhood to see if she was okay so remember the how to from the beginning of this video let's plug those things in for Kate the first piece was to know what your triggers are well we know that Kate's triggers involve judgment real or imagined blame real or imagined and other people's negative moods those are some examples number to know where they come from in childhood well we know in this hypothetical that Kate had a critical abusive mother she had a dismissive father and she had moody parents and those are the emotional charges from childhood that she's been able to figure out in therapy number 3 separating the past from the present that's that 80% and when we think about the emotional charge from childhood which for Kate means being a used and shamed as a child and she had to be perfect to survive emotionally and that 20% which belongs on the present is she might come to the realization that Jill is just my boss I'm not in trouble I got this so some of you might be asking what would have been a healthy response to Jill in the initial email exchange well if Kate wasn't so triggered or she was working on her triggers a very simple and basic way to respond to Jill as hi Jill here it is thanks Kate that response is diplomatic professional kate has nothing to prove to Jill and Kate is grounded in the truth so here are some takeaways you've been seeing this little cloud throughout the video and represent your childhood triggers but honor your survival strategies and triggers they kept us safer but no longer serve us or work if you really related to Kate in her situation there are many trauma survivors who grew up exactly like Kate and react in similar ways that childhood trauma stuff is predictable in the present very important here the present is always better than being powerless like we were in the past but the present can be incredibly hard the Kate situation thing is a really mild example but sometimes the present can mean like a divorce and while YouTube is a great place for education always explore finding a good trained trauma therapist if possible just don't have it stop at YouTube well thanks guys I hope the video was helpful to you if you haven't done so already please subscribe when you hit the notification bell you'll get notice of my other videos this is going to be the first video in a series of videos on triggering and I hope it was helpful and also that there's going to be more info and answers in the description of this video take care and thanks

A trigger is an over-the-top reaction in the present that is directly related to a past experience — usually childhood. In this video, Patrick Teahan looks at triggers through the lens of childhood trauma and dysfunctional family systems, explaining how early stress gets imprinted during emotional development and carried into adult life, where it quietly steals time, focus, and peace.

Patrick walks through a practical framework for working with triggers: first, identifying your personal top triggers through journaling; second, tracing each one back to its childhood origin; and third, actively practicing the separation between past and present. He illustrates the work using a hypothetical about a trauma survivor named Kate who becomes destabilized by a curt email from her boss, and uses her reaction to name the classic signs of being triggered — big body charges, dissociation, changes in language, all-or-nothing thinking, forgetting good attributes, compulsive coping, righteousness, and catastrophic metaphors.

The video is aimed at childhood trauma survivors who want to spend less time lost in activation and more time grounded in the present. It offers both a vocabulary for recognizing triggers as they happen and a starting point for tracking them back to the family system where they were formed.

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Information provided is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.

If you are, or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255

What Does It Mean to Be Triggered? 2025

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triggers

childhood trauma

dissociation

journaling

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