When your tolerance for dysfunction suddenly drops

We go through tough changes as we work on ourselves or in therapy. Our new way of being in the world - big or small - can make us question whether the change is good.

If you're feeling a bit raw, doing things outside your comfort zone, and finding yourself unable to stay in situations you used to be "okay" with, you're doing it right.

Progress breaks our old tolerance for discomfort, abuse, and bullsh*t.

• You might be unable to gossip with your mother about a sibling anymore.
• You might not be able to tolerate one-sided intimacy like before.
• You might not be able to people-please with your boss like you used to.
• You might be unable to jump into someone else's mess at your own expense.
• You might be unable to keep it going with self-consumed people like before.

The hard part is the new territory. You might wonder if you're becoming too cold, selfish, or guarded.

You're not. You're just getting healthier. It's foreign -and it won't feel graceful for a while yet.

-Patrick