anxious attachment

Anxious attachment, also called anxious‑preoccupied or preoccupied attachment, is an attachment style marked by fear of abandonment and a strong need for closeness. People with this pattern often worry about relationships and read distance as rejection.

In attachment theory, it develops when caregiving is inconsistent or unpredictable, shaping an internal belief that love and availability are uncertain. Common responses include frequent reassurance seeking, monitoring a partner's availability, difficulty tolerating uncertainty, and emotional ups and downs. In therapy and trauma recovery, it is understood as a protective strategy aimed at maintaining connection, with attention to building secure ways of relating and capacities for self‑soothing. This framework also helps explain pursuer–distancer cycles and why boundaries can feel threatening.