limerence

Limerence is a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe an intense, involuntary state of romantic longing for another person, marked by obsessive thinking, emotional dependency on the object of affection, and a desperate desire for reciprocation. Unlike a simple crush or mature love, limerence takes over the mind—intrusive fantasies, mood swings tied to tiny signals, and a roller-coaster between euphoria and despair.

Limerence often shows up in people with attachment wounds. The same nervous system that learned love was uncertain in childhood can latch onto an unavailable or inconsistent partner and experience the chase as "chemistry." Recovery involves recognizing limerence as a state rather than a true connection, grieving the fantasy, and turning toward self-regulation and the slower, safer work of real intimacy.