passive aggressive

Passive aggression is the indirect expression of anger, resentment, or opposition through behavior rather than direct words. It can look like giving the silent treatment, making cutting "jokes," "forgetting" to do things, dragging feet, or agreeing on the surface while sabotaging underneath. The person may insist nothing is wrong while clearly communicating that something is.

Passive aggression is often learned in families where direct anger was unsafe or forbidden. Children learn to get their protest across without being "too much," and carry the pattern into adult relationships. Working with passive aggression involves noticing it honestly, getting curious about the underlying unmet need, and building the capacity for direct, respectful communication—often with support in therapy.