How to Do a Cut off From the Narcissistic Family System

Going no contact with a narcissistic family system may be one of the hardest decisions an adult survivor of childhood trauma ever makes — and also one of the most necessary for genuine healing. In this video, Patrick Teahan, MSW offers thoughtful guidance on how to approach a family cutoff, addressing both the practical and deeply emotional dimensions of severing ties with a toxic family system.

Patrick acknowledges upfront that cutting off from family is not something anyone should take lightly or do impulsively. It represents a last resort after other attempts at boundaries, reduced contact, and direct communication have failed to create safety. But for those who have reached this point, he provides a compassionate framework for understanding why no contact becomes necessary and how to navigate the process with as much clarity and self-care as possible.

The video addresses the intense grief, guilt, and fear that accompany a family cutoff — emotions driven largely by the wounded inner child who still wants connection with the family, even when that connection has been consistently harmful. Patrick explains how the inner child's loyalty to the family system can sabotage the decision to go no contact, creating cycles of cutting off and going back that ultimately cause more pain.

Patrick also discusses the practical realities of maintaining no contact, from handling flying monkeys and guilt-tripping messages to managing holidays, social media, and mutual connections. He emphasizes that no contact is not about punishment or revenge but about creating the safety and space needed to do deep healing work without the constant retraumatization that comes from ongoing engagement with an abusive family system.