I have had a question that no one has ever been able to explain to me. I do know now that my father was an alcoholic, but I also know now he was also a narcissist. I struggled with homesickness out of four children. I was the only one. That was really disabled by homesickness, spending the night with friends, going to slumber parties, would not go to camp, had school phobia.
And, and no matter who I've discussed this with, nobody seems to know what homesickness is. And Alice, do you still know? Homesick occasionally in the evenings? Homesickness always came when the sun went down. Sun is going down. I felt this overwhelming sense of long years.
Alice. I really relate to it. As children, we really feel the absence.
Like we go to another child's house, like a friend's house, and we see a. Some stability, connection, and love and more consistency. Being homesick really kind of makes sense because it's almost just like, I think as children, uh, say a little girl, you're kind of like, you know, you got this alcoholic dad and maybe there's chaos or there's problems kind of around that.
And as kids we're like, so when do we get to be a family? When is that gonna happen? I don't want to miss it. Something might
happen and I'm not there.
Correct. I would also be wondering if there was other siblings that might have been in danger or a sad mom.
On, I was so in tune with my mother's wounding, uh, and I, I needed to take care of mother in some way, be there for her,
right?
Mm-hmm. I super relate to that. Yeah. Where as kids, we cannot be present if it's upside down where the child is more worried about the parent, and the parent is worried about the child. So. I think it makes a thousand percent sense. Sense to me as a little girl, if you felt
homesick, you said even now around sunset as the, as the day comes to a close, that is actually a very chaotic time in families, right?
People are coming home from work. Daddy came, dad came home. That's what it is. You know, I'll tell you, myself included, many will say the jingle of the keys in the door was a trigger. It's a trigger. I feel, to this day when I hear a jingle of keys, especially at that end of the day. Time I get anxious. And that's not unusual.
So that sunset meant that chaos was starting to set in and the protective child, Alice was being called. And that homesickness may also be that sense of I have to be home right now. 'cause if I'm not, this entire thing is gonna fall apart.
I came across this picture of me and uh, I've kept her with me and I hug her and block her.
And talk to her. She was born bright eye and bushy tail and that's, yeah. Look at her as an adult. Mm-hmm. Is to become, once again bright eye and bushy tail.
Yeah. When you get triggered around sunset and you feel either worried or alone, that is the time to really connect with you and her child and remind her that no one bad is coming home when, when the perpetrator comes home.
Yeah. That's when kids. Become really hypervigilant. Yeah, that was true for me. And it'd be good for your inner child to start to feel some safety. Wow. For me, for a long time, it was summers because summers growing up in an alcoholic family meant to be really hot and really bored and really disconnected.
So I really struggled with summers for a very long time.
We couldn't figure it out until I put those things together. And different routines at sunset too, to sort of help break some of that, that patterning and that. Cycling, but recognize that there's a primal call at that time of day to try to keep everyone safe.
And maybe your siblings ran away and you're the one who stayed in the fray. It's so good. Wow. I was the one worrying about Mama. Keep that picture though. You'll get there. You'll absolutely get there. Join the Dr. Ramini network today.
