codependency

Codependency is a pattern of relating in which a person’s sense of worth, safety, or identity becomes tied to another’s feelings, behavior, or approval. In therapy, it is understood as a learned survival strategy rather than a character flaw, often rooted in early family dynamics.

Common features include caretaking at one’s own expense, difficulty naming needs, people‑pleasing, poor boundaries, and over‑responsibility for others’ emotions or choices. Patterns frequently show up as enabling, enmeshment, control through caregiving, or losing oneself in partners, family members, or friends. It is linked to childhood emotional neglect, parentification, attachment wounds, and roles like the hero, caretaker, or peacemaker in toxic family systems. Recovery focuses on self‑attunement, boundary work, differentiation, and rebuilding a steady internal sense of self independent of others’ states.