contempt

Contempt is a moral-superior stance toward another person, conveyed through sneering, mocking, eye-rolling, name-calling, sarcasm, or dismissive body language. In relationship research—most notably John Gottman's work—it is considered one of the most corrosive dynamics in couples and families and a strong predictor of relational breakdown.

Unlike ordinary anger, contempt communicates “I am above you” and erodes safety, respect, and attachment over time. It often shows up in toxic family systems where scapegoating, parental narcissism, or chronic criticism were normalized, and it can be absorbed by children as internalized shame. Clinically, addressing contempt involves noticing the stance, naming underlying hurt or disappointment directly, rebuilding fondness and admiration, and interrupting the cycles that fuel it.