Attachment Theory - The Adult and the Inner Child

Most childhood trauma survivors try to heal their attachment wounds through a romantic partner — trying to awaken someone who is shut down, or to finally be seen the way they were not seen as children. In this third episode of the Adult and the Inner Child series, Patrick Teahan, LICSW takes the discussion into attachment theory and reframes the work as repairing the attachment between the adult self and the inner child.

Patrick gives a practical walkthrough of the four main attachment styles — secure, anxious preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant (disorganized) — using the standard anxiety and avoidance axes, but consistently mapping each style back onto the inner relationship between adult and inner child. He explains why the tired directive to 'love yourself first' tends to land as a vague command rather than a plan, and outlines how inner child work, when done well, gives the inner child a safe home base for the first time and opens the door to real repair.

The episode is written for viewers who are tired of fighting their childhood stuff through their partners and want concrete language for what a secure internal attachment actually looks like and how to start building it.