good enough

"Good enough" is a concept introduced by pediatrician and psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott, originally in the phrase "good enough mother." It describes a caregiver who responds to a child's needs consistently and warmly most of the time, while also inevitably failing in small, tolerable ways. These small, manageable ruptures—and the repairs that follow—teach the child that the world is safe but imperfect, and help them develop resilience, frustration tolerance, and a secure sense of self.

In trauma recovery and parenting work, "good enough" is a liberating standard. It pushes back against perfectionism and the fantasy of the flawless parent or partner. The goal is not to never make mistakes, but to stay emotionally available, own ruptures, and repair with honesty and care.